Tik Tok is a horrible song. Horrible. You "brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack?" "Everybody gettin' crunk, crunk/Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk?" This is painful. I know you've suggested that critics not take your lyrics seriously -- believe me, sweetie, no one does. That's no excuse for letting this song ever escape the inside of your head (or, if you're the sort who sings in the shower, the confines of your bathroom). It needs a serious upgrade -- some depth, proper spelling, interesting content.... Good thing I'm volunteering to help you fix it! We can work on it together, one line at a time. I'm game if you are!
To give anyone unfamiliar with your song a refresher course, they can go and lose three minutes and thirty-five seconds of their lives on YouTube watching the official music video here.
To anyone I just sent there, I am so sorry. I hope what follows makes up for it. Here we go, from the top!
Tick Tock (A Day in the Life of a Writer)
Wake up in the morning feeling like A. Huxley!
Grab my glasses, I'm in the kitchen gonna make some coffee!
When it's brewed, I park my butt at my living room desk,
Cuz once my mind is on my writing it ain't coming back!
I'm talking nonlinear fictional prose, prose,
Subverting various tropes, tropes,
Fine-tuning my different tones, tones!
Brainstorming, trying out new character names,
Limericks are fun and games,
The dirty ones are all the same!
Don't stop with the plot,
Villains blow my settings up!
Tonight Imma write
'Til I see the sunlight!
Tick tock on the clock
but the typing don't stop, no!
I keep forgetting to eat lunch but I've got lots of ideas,
Haven't put on shoes in two days but my plot's getting clearer.
And now the plot arc's lining up, cuz my brainwave is gold,
My heroine's down with it, but my villain ain't sold!
I'm talking about pastiches of Pratchett's Discworld, Discworld,
Establishing a compelling mythos, mythos,
Gonna see what emotions I can evoke, evoke!
Glued to my Word doc 'til I'm pried off, off,
or the writer's block shuts me down, down,
Writer's block shuts me down, down,
writer's block shuts me - !
Don't stop with the plot,
Villains blow my settings up!
Tonight Imma write,
'Til I see the sunlight!
Tick tock on the clock,
But the typing don't stop, no!
Don't stop with the plot,
Villains blow my settings up!
Tonight Imma write,
'Til I see the sunlight!
Tick tock on the clock,
But the typing don't stop, no!
I type it in,
I hit backspace,
My heart it pounds,
Yeah I got this,
My fingers flying,
I got this now,
I got this story,
Yeah I got this.
I type it up,
I hit backspace,
My heart it pounds,
Yeah I got this,
My fingers flying,
I write like mad,
I write like mad!
Now the writing don't start 'til I hit "Open!"
Don't stop with the plot,
Villains blow my settings up!
Tonight Imma write,
'Til I see the sunlight!
Tick tock on the clock,
But the typing don't stop, no!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
This is great. Is a video in our future?
ReplyDeleteGiven a free afternoon and a video camera, I wouldn't rule out the possibility!
ReplyDeleteThis is fun and very hip.
ReplyDeleteYou could be a hit with writing teachers and classes at high schools and colleges.
Some serious grooving, woman.
ReplyDeleteIremember seeing this somewhere around the internet and it made me laugh: "Does P. Diddy ever wake up feeling like Ke$ha?"
ReplyDeleteI love it! Especially rhyming ideas and clearer (sounds like a perfect rhyme to me! but then, in my world Al and owl are identical words). Please do more songs, maybe one by Lady Gaga?
ReplyDelete